EVERYTHING YOU NEED to KNOW ABOUT WRITING YOUR VOWS
You are already knee-deep into planning and organizing your special day, and we’re so happy for you! So many decisions have been or are about to be made. And so much of it concerns the shapes and appearances of things: your bridal gown, the esthetics of the event, the gracefully-looking ceremony florals, your hair and makeup, the invitations… A wedding seems to be so much about visual segments, and very little emphasis is given to the elements that have a deeper meaning than what meets the eye. One of those elements is the wedding vows.
Because we are masters in the organization of heartwarming and visually satisfying marriage celebrations, we want to share with you a detailed guide on writing vows, including a wedding vow template and a step-by-step guide to writing your heart-melting promises of love. A short bullet list of wedding vow tips is included too!
The wedding vows are the promises you and your partner make to each other during your ceremony.
Why might you want to write your own vows?
Writing your own vows is romantic, and this is enough of a reason to do it. Another great reason is that it gives you and your partner space to personalize the ceremony, stand out, and be original. However, it might be overwhelming for both of you, and even if you decide to do it, it is okay if you change your mind after attempting it. Writing short and pouring your deepest emotions and hopes into words can be more challenging than it seems.
The wedding vows are the promises you and your partner make to each other during your ceremony. It is one of the highlights of the entire love union. So, if you want to leave a personal mark on the ceremony, we strongly encourage you to write your own vows.
If you struggle to find the right words to say to your partner, you can always go with some traditional or religious lines designed to save your day. But going this route will leave you out of the opportunity to utter something you really mean and express the emotions you genuinely feel. So you might as well give your best to try and write some words on your own.
Her vows..
What to write about in your wedding vows and how long should they be
Writing wedding vows is, as a matter of fact, an attempt to compose a short story about your love. And not only a narrative of what has happened, describing events and common history; the vows should also tell the part of your story that you strongly envision for yourself and your partner. That is your future, your happily ever after.
If you focus on the love you feel, you can’t make a mistake with your vows. Some people emphasize how their relationship changed their life, and others describe what their partner means to them. This is just the introduction because the main subject when you’re writing vows should be the promises that you vow to keep, no matter what the future brings for you.
Casting a positive or brave vision for the future is always so endearing. Also, since you’re reading your vows in front of all your family and friends, you may want to give recognition to the power of community and the impact it can have on a marriage. It is a perfect occasion to ask for their support and blessing of your union.
If you’re thinking about how long should your vows be, it is best to aim for a 2-minute read. Reading in a calm pace and elegant manner means you can only read out loud about 120 words per minute. So aim to keep your vows short and sweet, between 200 and 250 words is ideal.
Give yourself enough time to reflect on your deepest thoughts and feelings and try to put them all into words. Start writing it now, and continue after a few days. Rewrite it and leave it in the drawer for a few more weeks. Then check it out again. Whatever you do, make sure you do not postpone until the last minute.
Also, make sure to have your vows ready 2 weeks before the great day. And do rehearse them a few times in the mirror. This will save you from the stress and jitters during the ceremony and will not leave any room for intrusive thoughts about sounding silly or cheesy.
If you don't know how to start, try making a list of all your thoughts. Simple employment of the brainstorming technique will help you take everything out on paper, and deduct the thoughts that are less important, too cringy, a cliche, and everything else that you dislike. Read the revised list again and underline the thoughts you like best.
How should the wedding vows look?
A lot of people ask the question, ‘where should I write my vows?’ You can write anywhere, on paper, phone or cloud, as long as is not too exposed for your partner to accidentally (or on purpose) see it and spoil the surprise.
However, once you finalize your vows, you'll want to transcribe them into something that would fit the ambiance of the ceremony and look good in photos. If you wish to make the sacred moment even more special, we recommend avoiding doing it by reading from your phone or from a sheet of printer paper. There are sets of vow books you can choose from. Aside from their esthetic value, vow booklets make an excellent keepsake, with the potential of becoming a family heirloom. In case you don't want to invest a lot in it, you can find amazing alternatives or even DIY ideas.
Rock, Paper, Scissors.. Who reads first?
How long does it take to write perfect wedding vows
Give yourself enough time to reflect on your deepest thoughts and feelings and try to put them all into words. Start writing it now, and continue after a few days. Rewrite it and leave it in the drawer for a few more weeks. Then check it out again. Whatever you do, make sure you do not postpone until the last minute.
Also, make sure to have your vows ready 2 weeks before the great day. And do rehearse them a few times in the mirror. This will save you from the stress and jitters during the ceremony and will not leave any room for intrusive thoughts about sounding silly or cheesy.
If you don't know how to start, try making a list of all your thoughts. Simple employment of the brainstorming technique will help you take everything out on paper, and deduct the thoughts that are less important, too cringy, a cliche, and everything else that you dislike. Read the revised list again and underline the thoughts you like best.
10 Wedding vow tips
Do not rush – it is not realistic to write your vows in just one day. Revisit what you have written every few days – edit, highlight, and rewrite if needed.
If you can't decide on the tone, write up two or three drafts. Make a funny one, a romantic one, a witty one. Reread them multiple times and decide which one evokes the most pleasant emotions in you.
Do not attempt to include everything. We understand you want to give some background to the whole story, but it is important to keep it short and clear.
Read as many examples of marital vows as you need before you start writing. Some will make you laugh, and some will make you cry, but in the end – you will have a clear picture of the style and direction you’ll want to follow.
Try to stay away from absolute words such as "never" and "always." If you wish to promise perfection, you will be setting yourself up for failing promises.
There is no dose of emotions that is too much for writing vows. This is a rare occasion to really embrace sentimentality without worrying if you sound cliche.
If humor is your superpower do not cut it back. You're not obligated to entertain everyone on your special day, but the ability to make people smile and even laugh out loud is a talent. You can try including it in your vows if you feel that it fits.
If you love art, do not hesitate to find inspiration in books, poems, songs, movie lines... and poems. A line from a movie or song might describe your feelings exactly, so quote it.
Practice your lines. Try reading them out loud. Read in on the voice recorder or make a video with your phone. This way, you can also practice certain moves or facial expressions and find the exact reading length.
Your wedding vows are gifts to one another; whatever you do make sure they stay a secret until the ceremony. It will be more impactful and emotional if you hear it for the first time.
4 STEPS
How to write my vow – a wedding vow template
Traditional vow lines tend to be very structured, clear, and straight to the point. But this is your day and there is no reason for you to be quite as strict regarding your preferences. Here is the wedding vow template structure we suggest:
Step one - make sure to include a statement of love. It may seem like the obvious thing to do, but you would be shocked just how many couples end up forgetting to simply include "I love you" when writing.
Step two - Promise your partner you'll be by their side through thick and thin. All marriages tend to have cycles of good times and hardships. This is the perfect time to proclaim your intent to get through whatever life brings your way.
Step three - Add a personal story. It will be more fun and memorable for friends or family who gathered to celebrate your special day, to hear about some odd quirk, or some raw personal story. Maybe you want to share an anecdote or a moment in which you realized your partner is the one for you. If so, make sure you're doing so in the most respectful way, and that you are not choosing a story that your significant other does not want to share at all. Also, if you intend to share an internal joke, make sure it is one that most of the present people will get.
Step four - write what you will promise. The whole purpose of the vows is to make an actual promise in front of all the gathered witnesses.
Organizing a ceremony at a professional level is too much of a burden to put on a couple, which is why you deserve any help that you can get. So if writing your wedding vows is what you struggle with, make sure to make use of the wedding vow tips we’ve mentioned.
Our mission is to make a picture-perfect experience, a nuptial in which the couple will be the exclusive guests. This is why we take care of all the details that demand your attention and decision-making. Feel free to contact us, or if you need more useful advice, read more of our blogs!
If there’s anything else we can do for you, please do hesitate on reaching out to us.
Aloha
